My faith journey (in a nutshell)

Setting: God and I, driving in a taxi to Paradise down a winding country road.

Me, looking ahead down the road: "Oh, I see where we're going now. Yes, there it is. I see it." (turns to God) "Thanks for the lift. I really needed that. But I think I'll be okay now."

God, looking concerned: "Are you sure? You'll get lost."

Me: "No, I got it, I'll be fine. I can see the way down the path. All I have to do is walk through that forest over there, and then boom. I'll be there. No sweat!"

God, sighing sadly: "That's what you said last time."

Me: "No. Seriously. I'll be fine. I can handle this. Really. You gave me a brain."

God: "And I also gave you free will." (frowns) "All right.... As you wish...."

God pulls the taxi over, and I get out.

Me: "Thanks again! See you later!"

God, from the taxi: "I'll be there if you decide you don't want to go on your own."

I don't hear. I'm already in the forest.

I walk out into the forest. I feel great. Using my expert sense of direction I walk due north, toward my destination. The birds are all chirping happily, and it's looking like it'll only take me a day to reach the other side, maybe less.

Next day:

Haven't reached destination yet. I continue on confidently

Me: "Oh, I'll be fine! I know the way. I'm good. I can handle myself. God gave me this excellent brain to rely on, I'll be fine! Has my expert sense of direction ever steered me wrong before?"

...I choose not to answer that question.

Next day:

Continuing forward, even though I'm convinced that I've seen this place before. I'm beginning to realize that my expert sense of direction isn't as expert as I thought.

Me: "Yeah, a minor setback, that's it. I'm fine."

Next day:

Trekking on, finding it harder to convince myself that I know what I'm doing.

Me: "Oh, I'll be out of here soon enough.... I'm fine-"

Cue torrential downpour.

"Fine-ish."

Next day:

Me, soaked to the skin, walking in circles, halfheartedly muttering: "I'll be fine.... Don't worry.... I know my way around.... I'm good...."

Next day:

Me meandering through the vines, shoots, and overgrowth: "I'll be fine.......... I'll be fine...... I'll-" (trips on a root and crashes on face) "Oh [expletive]! I hate this place! But I'm almost there! I can feel it (I think)......"

Next day:

I'm continually meandering through the underbrush: "Y'know.... This kinda gets me to thinking, I mean, not that this is probable or anything, but maybe, just maybe, this wasn't a good idea?"

Next day:

I stumble on a wasp's nest: "Oh crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap!" (bolts away, followed by half a million wasps)
Later: "Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.... So many stupid wasp stings! Could this get any worse?" (realize that I am standing in a patch of very familiar three-leaf plants) "Aaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhh!"

Next day:

Walking oddly through the bramble, trying to scratch the poison ivy itches without opening the wounds of the wasp stings: "Yep, I think that was a bad idea."

Next day:

Wandering, even more lost: "That was a very, very bad idea."

Next day:

Banging head against a tree: "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Next day:

Laying face-down on the forest floor: "It's hopeless.... hopeless!"

Next day:

Hasn't moved: "I'm doomed. I am so doomed. Nothing can-" (cell phone falls out of pocket) "OH YES! My cell phone! I can call God!" (starts typing) "Oh [expletive], I forgot the number!"

Next day:

Paces back and forth: "I can't believe it.... I can't remember the number.... What the crap.... I knew it just a few days ago."

Next day:

Looks up into the sky, tearing up: "I'M SORRY GOD!" (drops cell phone, hears a beep) "What's that?" (picks up cell phone) "Oh. It's in the phone book on my phone!" (almost drops the phone in joy, then selects number quickly) "Um, hello? Could you... um...."

God: "Already on my way."

Ten minutes later:

God pulls up in his taxi and rolls down the window. I walk over: "Um, God? Look, um, I was wrong. I was an idiot, and should've stayed with you. I know, that you're probably really mad right now, but I'm really, really sorry about that. Is there... um, can you... um...."

God: "Yes, of course, I forgive you. I will always love you no matter what. Why don't you get in the taxi. You look like you've been through hell."

I laugh weakly, then get into the taxi. Soon, all of the stings are gone, and all of the poison ivy is gone, and I'm feeling better. I feel better than I ever have before.

Next day:

Taxi is driving up a scenic route in the mountains. I'm feeling absolutely wonderful.
Me: "Well, thanks so much, God. This is so much better than what I was doing before."

God: "You're welcome."

Taxi starts decending the mountain, and heading towards the desert.

Me: "Oh, I see where we're going now. And I think I know what I did wrong last time."

God, looking unconvinced: "You do?"

Me, gesturing towards the desert: "Yes. Last time, I got lost because there were so many trees. But I know what to do now. Thanks for the lift, but I think that I know my way from here."

God, sighing sadly: "That's what you said last time."

Me: "But I really do this time. I can see straight across the desert, so I'm not gonna get lost."

God: "Oh your not?"

Me: "Yes, I'll be fine."

God, still looking unconvinced: "You'll be fine."

Me: Yes, of course I'll be fine. You gave me this brain, remember?"

God sighs: "Yes, and I also gave you free will. Very well."

Taxi pulls over by the side of the road. I get out.

Me: "Hey, thanks again. I don't know what I would've done back there if you hadn't helped me out. Well, I'll see you later!

God: "If you decide that you need me, I'll be waiting for you, and I won't hesitate to pick you up...."

Here we go again.....

So, that's it. My faith journey, in a nutshell.
See you guys soon,
T-WAC