I figured, since I have a blog, I should give a brief hello to my humans.
My sisters and my mother are watching "Hoarders."
There's a crazy person who thinks her clothes talk to her. It's pretty weird.
I've started writing songs again, which is a good thing. Life is a sine wave, and depending on its phase, I may have more or less inspiration. Unfortunately, a lot of my inspiration happens at 3pi/2. Crap, I need to learn to write happy music.
But then, honestly, I've gotta stop being at 3pi/2.
'Cause my life's a BIG -1 right now. I mean, seriously, sometimes it feels like the crest of my wave has a length of pi/2, while the trough has a length of 2pi.
For you non trigonometry-savvy people, I'm depressed. I don't know whether I'm actually psychologically depressed or just have been surrounded by suckiness so long that it's affecting me adversely. A little of both, I think. Pluh.
I mean, there are good things happening. I'm learning more about myself, about life, about relationships and whatever. I'm definitely growing. I've realized that, even if I have nothing else, I still have Jesus. My relationship with Jesus will be the closest thing to a perfect relationship that I will ever have. He's my way to being a better person. In a world where nothing makes sense and it seems that everything's stacked against me, He gives me a fighting chance at escaping many of the chains that have kept my family down for generations.
I may or may not explain these in a later post. I don't know. I don't know whether to share it with the internet world. I don't know what employers will find my blog and be reading over it to decide whether I'm fit to employ or not. I know they'll look at my Facebook (I don't even know if my privacy settings on max will do anything -- yes, I am that paranoid), but then, I don't spill my guts on Facebook like I do here. And even here, I don't really spill my guts. I don't like spilling my guts to ANYONE, which is a problem. I mean, well, we all need close friends to spill our guts to. And the issue is not that I don't have close friends. I do. I love each and every one of them dearly. It's just that I don't like spilling my guts.
I dunno. Guess I'm the generic, stereotypical "suffer in silence" kind of guy.
Anyway, the one thing that I will say is that I do NOT want to end up like many of my family members. Let's just say... we have a bit of an issue with picking the right people to get hitched to, and getting stuck with idiot-heads that screw us over. I've said too much already.
And ya'll wonder why I'm not dating. Hmmm.... Besides the "Forever Alone" challenge, I mean.
So. Really depressing post about depressingness. Yes. I know. I never used to post like this. But I'm a real person. I experience everything. Happiness, sadness, anger, depressedness, suckiness, elation-ness, romantic-ness, joyousness.... My real person and his guts are splattered up against the blogger wall 'neath a picture of a fairy poodle. It's like a diary. 'Cept everyone can read it. And it's in a public place.
Oh, and by the way, to my future employers who read this: you are the BEST BOSS EVER.
LOL.
Thank you.
T-WAC
