A short thought.

There is nothing I look forward to more than the day I'm back to my old self again.
The one that laughed, didn't always have things on his mind,
smiled 90% of the time because he was genuinely happy.
The one that wasn't angry, depressed,
didn't have to go through endless turmoil just to escape my own mind.
The one that was didn't have a window into the suffering of others,
the one that didn't have to watch helplessly and know that he could do nothing about it.
The one that acted crazy simply for the pleasure of doing so.
Back when dancing and air guitar were more than just defence mechanisms to keep the demons away.

But I want to keep some things from this one, though. The understanding of myself and others, for one, the
fact that I talk to people more than I ever have before, the lyrics I have written,
the love I have felt from my friends, the knowledge of how, when all of the walls come crashing down, when you've given everything you have, and more, until you're dead inside,
there's someone who will hold you while you sob and shake, even if no physical tears ever fall.
The knowledge that I'm strong enough to handle the life that God set in front of me,
that no matter how bad things get, there will always be a way to heal, find peace,
that even when you're thrust naked into the thorns, there is always a pair of hedge clippers waiting just beyond your reach, and if you really pull through it, try for it, fight for it, your hand will close around the handle, and the the thorns will be discarded to the ground.

There are some things I'll never be able to recover. And I'll accept that. It's part of growth.
I've learned about pain, but I've learned about hope, and I've learned about strength.
God's given me a choice, and I choose to rise up and walk, eyes dead set on the light that promises that maybe, when I've made it out of this mess, there's some kind of happiness that I can reach, dispite my curse of understanding.
Only those who have been beaten down to the very bottom are truly able to understand the meaning of true happiness.
No one is lost, unless they choose to be lost. No one is left behind, unless they choose to be left behind.
No one is broken beyond repair. There will always be scars, but there is healing there for those who seek it.
Hope is not something that can be lost, only hidden from view, but it will reemerge at your beckoning call.

And when it's all tearing apart, love is the one thing that remains with you forever.

Let God work, stay strong, and hold on to hope.
It will save your sanity.
It will save your life.